Syd’s Scribbly Scrablers

Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck in a well, like the old fashioned one where you lower the bucket to retrieve the water thats stored there. I feel like the walls are slick with moisture that couldn’t escape the towering cylinder either. I can’t grab onto the bricks with no cracks and I can’t escape and I’m trapped. I can have people come down and try to help, but they’ll be able to get out of the well and I can’t. Sometimes people who visit me bring ladders, and I take a couple of steps out. My head pops out of the well and I see the sun that I’ve been seeing up through the top of the well, but something pushes me, and I can’t remember what it is, but I fall even further down the well, because it got deeper while I was climbing. Water pours down from all sides, and I don’t float up like in the movies. I just sink until the waters up to my head and my neck and I cry and it all goes away, and I’m again deeper in the well. I don’t want anybody else to be trapped in my well, because I won’t be able to help them, just like I couldn’t help myself.

This summer I hated the vacations my parents took me on, because I just wanted to be in my room watching Netflix on my iPad underneath my covers until I fell asleep forever. Then school started and I was so excited to have a schedule again. School’s main purpose is to educate but that’s not all that comes with schools. There’s mean people in the halls who tell you nobody likes you and that you’re an ugly person. Then you try to block them all out with music and you get that taken away too. Nobody leaves you alone not your parents, your teachers, other students, random people you don’t know. Even when you sleep your brain gives you nightmares that you used to be able to control and now they won’t wake you up and your stuck until morning and you have to do it all again. You start to wish you just didn’t think anymore. And I fall back to the bottom of my well, even though I almost climbed the ladder again.