Ms. Tanikawa is out sick, and the students have elected me to be principal for the day. I use the school’s money to order 25 large pizzas from Wise Guys from lunch, and lunch lasts for an hour because everybody hates 6th period. There’s a surprise assembly after lunch. I excuse all the teachers to go to the teachers lounge, so we have no supervision except for yours truly. Strobe lights blast on, and Taylor Swift’s “Hits Different” starts playing. It’s a dance party with leftover pizza, Nintendo switches, Coke and Mentos, and Kirby balloons that come to life and float around the room, snuggling unexpected party goers. The Kirby’s suck up wrong doers and fart them out covered in sparkles. Then everybody goes home, more colorful than the color run.

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